Why is dating so difficult sometimes ?

 


We live in a world with various expectations that are believed to contribute to our happiness. Some of these expectations revolve around dating and marriage. Dating serves as a crucial step before marriage, and men and women often have different perspectives and desires when it comes to dating.

In the past, men often assumed that women preferred romantic dates, but this is not always the case. Cultural differences also play a role. For instance, in my culture, expressing your feelings to a girl before dating her is acceptable. However, in other cultures, such as in the United States, it may be viewed differently. I recall a personal experience where, during my first date with a girl, I openly expressed my feelings towards her. This startled her, and she conveyed something that left a lasting impression on me. She told me that I should "date her the American Way." This statement prompted me to conduct further research, revealing that in America, it is customary to date someone multiple times before expressing strong emotions. This advice has stuck with me since then.

A perfect date should be well-planned and not rushed. It does not necessarily have to be overly serious, but rather a fun activity with no immediate expectations of committing to something serious. An article titled "Perfect Date" emphasizes that on any date, all a girl wants is to get to know the person better while enjoying themselves. By creating a perfect date experience, she will likely want to continue dating to deepen the connection further.

Leaders in religious institutions, such as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, often advise their members on dating. They stress the importance of going on multiple dates and taking the time to truly know a person before making serious commitments. Elder Dallin Oaks delivered a speech in April 2017 about divorce, wherein he emphasized the need for dating, followed by a thoughtful and thorough courtship. He suggested that engaged couples should gain a comprehensive understanding of each other's behavior in various circumstances and learn about each other's families. In all of this, he highlighted that a successful marriage does not require perfection from either partner, but rather a commitment to strive together towards personal growth.

While it is valuable to have some expectations regarding the ideal partner, it is far more important to support and help the person we choose to reach their potential. The modern generation approaches dating differently than in the past, often bypassing significant steps and failing to establish a solid foundation. It is essential to date someone who shares the same values and beliefs as us. A classmate once mentioned the importance of asking ourselves whether we could envision marrying the person we are dating. The younger generation typically makes the mistake of entering relationships without investing enough time in getting to know their partner. It is easy to become emotionally attached when spending time with someone, but we should exercise caution and patience.

An author conducted extensive research and outlined five steps that should be followed to ensure a great date. I found this research remarkable. The first step is getting to know the person well during the dating process. Engaging in enjoyable activities and having genuine conversations allows us to understand each other's strengths, weaknesses, and interests. The second step is building trust. Trust is paramount in a relationship, as it enhances confidence in one another and enables partners to rely on each other during challenging times. When partners can depend on each other, a genuine connection forms, leading to a desire to spend more time together.

In conclusion, I believe that meaningful dates are essential for establishing a strong and lasting marriage. While there are no perfect partners, people can be perfect for each other in various ways. Dating should not be rushed but rather planned thoughtfully, incorporating the ideas and interests of both partners.


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